Wednesday, February 08, 2017

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

It's one of the tenets of self-help, "pull yourself up," personal self-esteem talk that one should not be worried about what other people think, either in the context of doing something stupid or in general concern about constraining your actions based on the opinions of others, because most people are too busy thinking about themselves and their own issues.

What if, though, if being concerned, or speculating, or imagining, or other contemplative gerund, is what makes someone prone to be a writer? What if thinking about what other people are doing, thinking, etc., is one of the ways one can intuit that they should be putting stories to paper, or on video, or otherwise getting them out to the world? And what a double edged sword to be a person who is often thinking about what other people are thinking, projecting that they might be doing the same and therefore caught up in a spiral ("Spiral out!") of "What are they thinking? And is it about me?"

And can I assume this is so, and that I can use that as a lever under me to write more and/or whole things and not just the fragments that litter my hard drive and file boxes? Hmm.


Wednesday, May 18, 2016

I got nothin'

I really, really, really want to put up a blog post today - I had a breakthrough at work; I'm feeling pretty good; my children are all in a stable place today; I've got plans for the night with Neuf and some coworkers I like; and I'm feeling pretty zen thanks to Leo Babauta.

However, as I start to write, I just feel like there isn't anything new and revelatory to put on the page. (Note: I've spelled "revelatory" correctly, but the spell checker doesn't like it. They need to update that. I guess I should be happy that they know what "archaic" means. [Subnote: if you get that book and movie reference, I will buy you lunch the next time I see you.])

Sometimes it has to just be about the act of writing and not that this particular item is the thing that is going to break free and be the great new inspiration for the ages. And old habits die hard: I just tried to do a word count to see where I was.

Okay, I'm feeling all proud of myself now. I'm going off to consider some rules for myself and work on my current and future happiness.


Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Not my most humble post

I fascinate me.

I've been re-reading my blog posts over the last few days after Neuf 'fessed up that he had been reading my blog and think there is a lot of interesting stuff that I've written, or that the stuff was not necessarily interesting to anyone other than me but my writing amused me or invoked a really clear memory for me.

I had been avoiding it because I'm conflicted about: 1) not really wanting to write for a long time (months into years now) and 2) not necessarily wanting to share myself with the world at large who may end up being assholes and not the agent or editor of my dreams who randomly finds my writing and offers me a book deal.

However, now that I've re-read a bunch of it, plus a whole other blog I had forgotten about, I think maybe I should risk the public attention (not too worried yet, I only have six subscribers and I may lose one soon) and write.


Dude. Seriously. Chill.

So: if something work-related may or may not happen, and even then not until July; there is nothing more I can to make it happen from now until then; and my behavior/actions are not going to really change whether or not the thing happens - perhaps I should just chill the fuck out and not worry about it until then. Instead I should work on my own personal projects and stop being aggravated and stressed about a thing I feel I have zero control over. (Of course, I can be annoyed about having zero control over something that I, ideally, would be able to drive the process on, but that would be a whole other rant.)

Friday, February 05, 2016

What makes you a good fit for this job?

I'm not suggesting that you need or are looking for a new job...but if you are, check out this answer to an important and common question by Liz Ryan.

What makes you a good fit for this job?

Journaling prompts - Practical, work related ones :~)

I really enjoy Liz Ryan and her ideas on HR recruitment and hiring. This is a recent post in Forbes:

Journaling is great exercise. Here are 25 journal prompts to motivate you.

And here are the prompts, so I can find them later...:~)

25 Journal Prompts

Write in your journal about…

1. Your life and work situation now. Where do you work, or what kind of work are you looking for? What do you do at work, or how are you running your job search?

2. Your day. What did you eat, where did you go and who did you talk to? What did you think about today?

3. Your to-do list. What are you working on at work or in your job search, and at home? What’s on your plate? Get your to-do list out of your head and write about it. What could you shuffle around or push off to a later date in your to-do list, and how will you reward yourself when you’ve accomplished each item on your list?

4. Your plans. What are you planning to accomplish and experience in 2016? What are you excited about for this new year?

5. Your hopes for 2016. What elements of your life and career would you like to see change in 2016, and how would you like them to change?

6. Your future. When December 31, 2016 arrives, how would you like your life to be different than  it is now? Where do you want your life and career to go in the following year, 2017?

7. Your concerns. What’s bugging you or stressing you out? What are the biggest stress factors in your life right now? Write about them and look at them. What steps can you take to ease your burden this year and make your life easier and more rewarding than it is now?

8. Your health. How are you and your body getting along these days? What would you like to see change in your health, and how can you take steps to gradually make those changes?

9. Your relationships. Who is important to you at work and at home, and how do you and they support one another? Who do you rely on at work, and at home?

10. Your creative life. What do you do for your creative spirit, or what can you begin doing this year? Maybe this journaling practice is the start of something really cool in your creative expression. How can you make small changes to allow more of your creative side to shine through in 2016?

11. Your memories of 2015. What events, people, learning or experiences in 2015 made an impression on you and affected your feelings and/or your path going forward?

12. Your career path. Is your current career path still supporting who you are and want to be, or is it time to look at your path from a higher altitude?

13. Your long-term goals. What do you want from your life and your career overall — to experience, to accomplish, to learn, to teach or to bring about? This is the high-altitude view from the Cloud Level. What is your life about, and if like most people you’re not sure, how could you begin that exploration?

14. Your memories. Lots of us live our lives and then seldom if ever think about the past, but your path so far is a goldmine for understanding of yourself, other people and the world. Write about your memories from childhood, from your school days and from the days since then.

15. Your tastes. What are your favorite movies? Who are your favorite musical and visual artists?  If you are a theater-goer, dance aficionado orlive music buff, what kind of theater, dance and music do your like most? What have been your creative influences so far in your life?

16. Your intellectual life. What do you read if you like to read, and what do you listen to on the radio or online? Who do you share ideas with and formulate your viewpoints with? How do you get the intellectual stimulation you need, and if you’re not getting it now, how can you begin to do so in 2016?

17. The news and current events. What kind of news do you follow and what ar your thoughts about events and people in the news?

18. Fun. How do you celebrate good news and how do you relax and have fun? Do you relax in a boat on a lake or in a movie theatre or doing yoga on your dining room floor? What is a fun day in your opinion, and how can you arrange one of those very soon?

19. Ideas.What ideas swirl around in your head — ideas for your life or parties you’d like to throw or the screenplay you want to write or that crazy idea about getting a Bernese Mountain Dog puppy. Write about your practical and out-there ideas. Look at them and ask “What is this idea telling me?” Maybe you are meant to get a puppy after all.

20. Your journey. It isn’t easy being a grownup. There are way too many things to deal with. How are you holding up in your journey? What are you thinking about? What’s in your way, and how can you tunnel under it, vault over it, make a hole through  it or sail right by it?

21. Dreams and signals. Write about your dreams and daydreams, the images and sounds that catch your attention and the little synchronistic things that happen in your life and give you a little buzz, like static electricity. The more awake you get to your own existence and your path the more you’ll notice interesting coincidences and themes emerging. Write about them!

22. Your persona. Who are you at work, and who are you with your friends? How are those people different? Are the differences healthy and fun for you — like playing different parts in different plays at the same time — or are the gaps between your home-self and your work-self stressful for you? How could you bring yourself to work in 2016 and speak with your own voice?

23. If you knew that you could choose any career you wanted to and knew you’d be successful at it, what career would you choose?

24. If you could choose the lifestyle you wanted and design it down to the smallest detail, what would that lifestyle be?

25. What is stopping you?

Monday, March 16, 2015


Having a very successful programming day:

* Got the security issue work around fixed.

* Got the tabs across the top.

* Changed some code to do above and might actually know what I did.

* Got the cool color I wanted on the style sheet.

"It was a good day." -Ice Cube as channeled by Scott Davis.


Tuesday, March 03, 2015

A lot (two words) done

Today has been one of those days where I have gotten a tremendous amount of things - work, personal, career - done. This is actually a continuation from Saturday, when Neuf and I knocked out a bunch of skunkles (errands).

*Library book returned.

*Last minute important thing delivered to child.

*Netflix queue updated with a brilliant idea I had for our next movie seriess.

*Finally, the mySQL and php class is making sense. I'm reading the sample code and understanding it. This is huge for the new position.

*Acting as the backup for the person who took my old position but is on vacation this week, so clearing out some old to-do items I left her with.

*Repaired office chair. (Honey, you are a genius. The vise grips were the perfect thing.)

*Made lasagne over the weekend that my honey can take to work for lunch/tea this week.

*Make Thing 2's favorite with enough for another dinner or two.

*Got the bad writing job albatross back to its owner.

*Got the CPAP to a good home.

*Organized my jewelry drawer.

*Started the new blog:

*Finished several books and put them up on Library Thing for the 2015 "52 books, 52000 words" goal.

*Collaborated on goal to get Neuf et al to a live NHL game.

*Received (late) child support check. Making a plan to deal with future disruptions but also decided to accept calmly the way fate will play this out across the next year and a half.

*Confirmed Thing 1 has a place to live next school year. Fingers crossed, this could be his permanent home for the last 3 to 3 1/2 years of college.

*Wrote here on my blog.

I rock.


Wednesday, January 22, 2014

How to be classy when talking

I went to today to update my profile and now I get to be the featured personal website of the day. I better get some damn new stuff posted then, huh?

Last night I was ranting to Scott about the cost of replacing the brakes on Thing 1's car. (Let me be clear, it's owned and most operations paid for by the two responsible parents, but operated by the teenager, so he thinks it's his.) I was debating whether it's worth just buying new-ish cars and getting screwed by the dealer with the overpricing (I'm looking at you, Town Center Nissan) versus buying older used cars and getting screwed by the seller with getting a car that is definitely going to need $2000+ worth of work in the first year if past history is any guide.

Anyway, I was using some graphic sexually imagery to describe how I thought the car buying process takes place, forgetting that T1 was doing his (Georgia Tech!) Calculus III homework at the dining room table. He started laughing hysterically. "My friends totally don't believe me when I tell them that conversations like this take place at my house!" he says. Great, we are the tacky, trash-talking parents. Good thing I can roll out the graduate degree in writing if I need to - I can say I was being ironic or something. *eyeroll*

Future possible blogs:

*A friend in college who used, overused and I think incorrectly used "ironic" nearly every day of our freshman year. It made me avoid the word for a very long time.

*The definition of "moot": I know the purists want it to mean "open to debate," but common usage has long since changed it to "beyond discussion" or "over."

*The same thing is happening to "literally," (has already happened in the South), but I am fighting it.